Who said we can't make our our rules???....

Who came up with the idea of a relationship, and what it entails?.. And why, after all this time, even with the basic knowledge that we're all pretty different from each other, do we still think that every relationship should follow these unknown, ridiculous, confining rules?. Having said that, let me just say that this is not an excuse for infidelity.. Anyway..

I may not have all the answers, God knows the things I thought I wanted 6 months ago, don't even apply to me today.. but I think that there's one fundamental rule of life, that I've figured out, and that is.. Life is a continuous learning process... Pretty simple huh? Yea I know, I didn't claim that it was some paranormal unknown secret.. But when you really think about, reallllly give it some thought.. Do we accept and apply that to our lives?. Moreso, to our relationships?.. And not just boyfriend/girlfriend(sounds trivial I know), husband/wife, but parent/child, or even plain old friendships.

(SideNote) as I'm writing this, my phone refuses to come back on and I'm not bothered... I just thought I should throw that there so that you guys know how serious I am about this post LOL. anyway let's continue...

Back to what I started with, you know, my enlightened  moment of life being a continuous learning experience.. If it is that, and I'm fairly positive that is it. Then why do we confine not only ourselves, but the people we have relationships with.. You're almost expected to live in a square, from the time you enter a union with someone.. Not like a God union, ie marriage, but any union. you somehow try to stunt growth.. you know.. you're individuality and figuring out yourself, is now a turn off, and sort of becomes an omen.. Like what the hell? You're in a relationship and still getting to know yourself and figure stuff out? Nah, you should be single.. Lol.. stupid right? because, no one really knows who they are, you evolve, things change, people change, your outlook on life changes, different things.  How does change come? through experiences.. How can you have experiences, if you're basically forbidden (in the relationship fine print) to be an individual and maintain individuality.. It's some unspoken rule that your "mistakes", should be none to few.. But maybe they aren't mistakes, maybe it's just you, maybe it's just you trying to figure out what you like, what you don't, maybe it's just you acting on how you feel at that particular point in your life.. It's almost as though people say they want honesty, but if what you want changes( or if you don't necessarily want to start planning a life of "US", you're not allowed to say it, because if you do, then the person you're with would make it all about them, as though, you've wasted their time... well not really, and don't feel guilty... wanna know why you shouldn't?.. Because at that point of entering something, you probably thought you wanted exclusivity or you got caught up with the emotions and thought yea let's talk about our future together, but as time went on, and you started to learn more about yourself, you learn that hey maybe this isn't what I wanted.. And that's fine. Who said you had to have it all figured out by 20?..

Another thing I want to say.. I'm tired of my delusional in a relationship friends, and the ones who don't even have a title.. I love my friends, but I think I need to get some virgin friends, or those who are single.. because the "taken" ones, are in denial, here's why.. they make their entire existence about the relationship they're in.. maybe that's a female flaw.. Idk.. but they never admit it, you  know they try to downplay the severity of their pathetic I only exist comfortably if all is well with him and I mentality.. Don't get me wrong, at one point I lived in this horrible world.. But I have since broken the shackles of relationship slavery.. HA. I'm black so I could say that.. back to my point... for example, you have this test coming up, but you're really not bothered, you sleep fine, knowing that this exam, really determines, even if it's a small part, of your future... yet when you're with Shane, and you guys have one stupid little disagreement because some one of you decided to be an individual for a minute.. your entire world falls apart, you start strolling through shamblestown, and all is not well again, until you guys make up.. why weren't you crying about the actual thing that would still be in your life 60 years from now?.. Your education?.. Or your mind.. whichever.. Your entire being, happiness, solidarity, relaxation, and well being, now depends on this person, and no I'm not disputing love, but that's borderline freaky and pathetic. Yet who is really going to admit that they fall into this category?... No one, that's why the growth is non existent and the problems are at the forefront of the dysfunction you call a relationship...

I think that a lot of relationships fail, because of unrealistic expectations.. why do you have to lose yourself? how can you be expected to grow as one, if you've stopped your personal growth?. You can't flourish your relationship, if you neglect to nourish your mind and neglect to learn about yourself.. Yes keep in mind the basic rules of not cheating(unless agreed upon), because no one wants to catch some unwanted std or virus.. But maintain freedom, maintain individuality, leave room for growth, don't confine physically, emotionally, spiritually or mentally.. Let people explore who they are, what they want, what they like and what they dislike. Don't put limitations on what they can come tell you, remember that no one really comes into it having it all figured out, and sometimes the reality of it is, that maybe you're here now, only to teach each other something, and create memories, don't be afraid that if they advance mentally, they won't need or want you, don't look at it as time wasted, don't put so much effort into the future, and really enjoy each other's company, encourage growth, and love. Who cares what society thinks, they're judging you by unrealistic standards that they themselves don't even meet.. Live for you, let them live for them..Liberate them with words.. It really can do no harm..

I'll be back

Why do we always have to have a reason for something happening? Why is it that we can't just accept it ending, no real reason?.. I have more, some other time maybe?.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nQzEshgDFA

Empty Words

Empty words.. Simple words that once tasted sweet upon your tongue, are now bland, they don't exude the same happiness you once felt.. They're empty..
You repeat them daily, but without much emotion, if any at all, and without much thought.. Maybe you may just stop speaking them at all, because now you feel as though you're betraying them, their kindness, brightness, faithfulness... They no longer carry weight, and you feel guilty that you even allow your voice to utter them..When do words become empty? What causes them to be drained of all life? How do you resuscitate them to their former glory?... How do you give life to your now darkened dull drab words

Love Liberates.

So I guess this is a continuation of my previous post.

Recent events have made me look at this differently, and I believe once you have a new outlook on things, you never really go back, especially if it's a liberating one.

Although we may have experienced the same situation together, does not necessarily mean that we will have the same reality, the same perception, the same feelings. And it's important that we acknowledge that, so that we won't be left with preconceived notions about how the other person should feel or behave.

Sometimes we expect certain behaviors simply because of how we ourselves view the world or how we ourselves act in certain situations, and this leaves us with unfulfilling relationships because we expect them to fit into our perception of things, which is unfair and unrealistic, and this usually causes rifts in so many relationships. It takes the beauty out of relationships that are suppose to bring joy into our lives, because we demand from persons what they may be unable to give, and in reality, what we may not even be able to give ourselves.

Unrealistic expectations leads to disappointments, not just expectations, but unrealistic ones, we expect persons to reciprocate what we sometimes don't give, we expect them to show us love, when we don't show them, we expect them to behave a particular way when we haven't given the chance or the tools to do so, we expect them to be upright, when we constantly put them down, we expect appreciation when we don't show appreciation, we expect forgiveness when we don't forgive, we expect selflessness when we are selfish in our giving.. We expect the cycle to break, when we give it longevity. We expect them to live our truths and our realities, when they have their own.. One that was forged by what we unrealistically expected from them. So we've taught them how to be messed up, how to not love, how to be angry, and hold grudges, because we could not admit that we were wrong, because we did not take the time to look within ourselves and admit we have issues, we did not see it fit to do whatever is necessary to fix ourselves... But somehow we expect it from them.

Take today to love, to show love, to forgive, to accept love, to ask for forgiveness, to forgive ourselves, to forget and move past hurt, to ask for understanding, to ask for support, to realize that the longer we stay stuck, the more strain we put on all relationships we have, the longer we take to fix us, the farther everyone who means something to us,goes.

Give yourself the opportunity to grow, to shed old weight and be free.. Liberate, liberate yourself and the people in your life.. love them, love you.. Love does not own, degrade, hurt, or anger.. It simply liberates. Love liberates.

Love is........

I don't believe that any two people meet at the same point in their lives.. Meaning that we're all at different physiological stages when we come across a potential partner, so then how can and why do we think that there is a flat set of wants and needs to have or to be met. 
Following?

.... I think that when you love someone, you care deeply about their well-being and you honestly just want them to be happy, with or without you, you really put your ego aside. Many people proclaim this famous bs line that they want you to be happy even if it's not with them, but then they try to guilt you into staying with them, even if it means you're needs aren't being met in this particular relationship,they're basically looking after their own ego's. 

Love isn't possessive, and I'm not just speaking in the abusive way, but possessive, in that it matters more to you if you aren't hurt or you aren't left, rather than if your partner is truly happy. And in the end these illusion type relationships get to a point where it's tiring to be in and it still ends up coming to nothing. 

Love is selfless, it knows no ego. It is giving of yourself entirely, it is wanting what is best for that person, even if it hurts you to the core. 
Sometimes it's simply for the feeling, the experience, but not meant to last. 
But even with the hurt, and sacrifices, it's beautiful and freeing...