STOP THE INSANITY

Only utter bs can stop me from going to sleep. So I'm here to express my thoughts on this crazy stupid matter. 
Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, Ladies!!! Get your shit together!!. 
If the man you are with does not treat you right, not spectacular, extraordinary or amazing, but just right, then something is wrong!. You're not asking for houses, diamonds, cars or anything of the sort,  just a little love and appreciation, and you can't get it, then something is WRONG!. 


For the females who aren't even in a relationship, yet have all the problems of someone who does and some, yall are stupid. And yes the rest of the world perceives you as such, so saying "I'm not an ass" or "No one can take me for an ass" is honestly, false advertising. Someone is taking you for a ride... Like an ass, without the commitment. And I bet he has a gf... urghh Stupid! You should be worth enough that someone will be willing to commit to you. If not, you're selling yourself short, get yo ass off the sales rack!!!. Don't put yourself there and then expect to be treated like Couture.

For those of yall in relationships. If you're partner isn't acting right by you, then no amount of tweets, pictures, or statuses can make him change!!! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!! COMMUNICATE!! lay it all on the table and fix the problems, sort them out and find solutions, and if nun can be fixed, come to the realization that it wasn't meant to be. Because, the more pictures, statues and UNAVAILABLE statuses, isn't going to stop the same thing from happening. If you're sitting there hoping that one day he'll care enough to ask what's wrong, or your statuses, or pics will make a light bulb go off in his head, then you're wasting precious time that you will NEVER get back. 


PLEASE LEARN TO COMMUNICATE!!!!!!

No Grey area.. It's wrong!

Cheating doesn’t just start at someone’s lips and end in their pants. Cheating describes anything you do with someone that you wouldn’t want your partner to know about. So many people engage in sketchy behavior and say, “It’s not technically cheating.” Oh yeah? Then why don’t you call up your partner and tell them in detail what you did? No? Don’t want to do that? Exactly. If you really love someone, your mentality shouldn’t be, “What can I get away with?” It should be, “I want to be super conscious that I don’t even accidentally find myself in a situation that would hurt my partner.” And, all of these situations would.

Pondering about what could have been

Sometimes someone from the past drops into your life—someone who you almost got with, or who there was always sexual tension with. They start running in the same social circles as you. But now, you’re taken. It’s immature but sometimes those people will try to engage you in conversations that start with something like, “It’s a shame we never got together.” It’s always flattering—yes. But, how would your partner like to know that you replied to that with, “I know. I was always so attracted to you.” How would you like to stumble across a little instant message chat between your partner and someone else that looked like that? If somebody from the past tries to get you into a chat like that, you should immediately say, “Well, I’m honestly really happy with the person I’m with now.”

Your friendship is based on sexual tension

No one will ever admit when they have a friendship like this. You might be in a happy relationship but, you have one single male friend who, you know, if he got into a relationship, you wouldn’t be friends with anymore. What does that say? That what’s holding that BS “friendship” together is the possibility of “what if?” a likelihood that vanishes if you are both taken. If you know you’d be envious to see one of your male friends with another female, you either need to end that friendship or end your relationship, because clearly you’re not 100% committed to or realistic about either.

A friend who likes you

Do you have a friend who is in love with you? He blatantly says things like, “I’m going to try to steal you from your man” or sends you texts saying, “I’m thinking about you…” Not only is it completely unfair to your partner for you to keep someone like this in your life, but why are you keeping that friend around? Simple: you want attention. You need attention. It’s more important to you than being faithful and yes, if you’re indulging that sort of attention from another man, you’re being emotionally unfaithful. If you do anything short of telling that person they’ve got to get out of your life, then you’re indulging a deep and dark desire for attention. It is your responsibility to make that behavior stop. And, it’s yours because you’re the one who has the power to hurt your boyfriend’s feelings. Your lovesick friend isn’t responsible to anyone’s feelings. He’s single.

Don’t ask, don’t tell

This goes back to the need for attention issue. If you’re ever in a situation where clearly someone is entertaining the idea of hitting on you or trying to hook up with you, and you do not tell him you’re in a relationship, something’s wrong in that head of yours. If you’re out with a group of single girlfriends and you meet a group of single males, who you end up spending most of the night with—fine. But, if your 3 girls are hitting it off with 3 of the guys, and the 4^th one is eagerly sticking by your side, how would your boyfriend like to know that you never told him you were in a relationship? How would he like to know that you let this guy believe all night he was earning brownie points towards sleeping with you? How would you like if the reverse happened? The excuse, “He didn’t ask, so I didn’t tell him I had a boyfriend” doesn’t fly. What would the harm be in telling him? Oh yeah. You wouldn’t get attention anymore.

He has a girlfriend/wife

Sometimes a man just doesn’t know what he wants. He’s got a girlfriend. He also wants you. You really want him. Instead of being strong and walking away, you allow yourself to engage in what you believe is a “gray area.” You get late night drinks with this guy and have deep conversations that the girlfriend never knows about. You never touch. But, you are both 100% aware of and communicative about the fact you’re attracted to each other. But, you never touch, so it’s okay—right? WRONG. How would you like to be that guy’s girlfriend? Honestly, you’re just letting a selfish and immature guy have his cake and eat it too by engaging in this type of behavior. You’re carrying on an emotional affair.

CHILD PLEASE, if you’re already having to say things like, “He started it” “I’m not doing anything” or anything of the sort you know you’re engaging in something wrong. People have a tendency to start or continue things, and when the party is ready to move forward, they are afraid to commit to them, for the fear of losing what they have.  YOU can always take responsibility and stop it. The fact that YOU are not doing anything might be the problem—you could block that phone number, ignore those texts and tell someone to go away.

Awful Reasons to stay

We’ve all been in that relationship before where our friends, family and coworkers wonder why you’re still in. Sure, it started out great, with all of the thrill and fireworks of new and exciting love. He chased you, won your heart and told you everything you wanted to hear; he made you feel so beautiful, so alive, so wanted.

But, bit by bit, things started to change. There were fights, hurt feelings and things that were said that shouldn’t be said to anyone. There were also scars that couldn’t heal and there may have been infidelity. It just keeps getting worse. Of course, there were also apologies and the highly dramatic make-ups that seemed like the only thing that brought you close to that original excitement that you now wanted to get back to so badly … but you could never quite get there. So, you settled for the break-up and make-up rollercoaster ride to fill the emotional void that was ever widening.

Ultimately you find yourself submissive to a constant feeling of depression, which — when coupled with a lack of communication and support — leads to a life that’s just utterly lacking in love. But, still, you can’t let go.What is it that forces us to stay in relationships that aren’t good for us? There are many reasons, but more often than not, it’s a combination of several motivations. The first step towards making your situation better is in understanding why you’re making the choices you’re making to begin with. 

1. You're afraid you're getting old. You're afraid if you leave, you'll feel desperate to find someone else quickly because you think you're running out of time. You may also feel that if you can just make this work it will be much better than having to start all over again with someone new or you may feel the pressure of your biological clock ticking. Bad relationships don't get better with age.

2. You're afraid of being lonely. This is one of the most common reasons for staying in a relationship that's just not working. You may have very clear memories of how alone you felt on those long lonely Saturday nights when you had no plans and nobody to be with. As much as we all long for someone to share the beautiful, special moments in life with, as well as someone to be intimate with, being with the wrong person just for the sake of avoiding being alone will ultimately lead to more pain and sadness than the pain of loneliness.

3. You're stuck in the fairytale. It started out as such a storybook romance. He was the knight in shining armor, you the damsel in distress. Or, it was such a fateful, romantic chance meeting that brought the two of you together that you just know it was destiny, and you'll do whatever it takes to fulfill that destiny. But, the reality is something more like this: he was charming in the beginning, you had some great chemistry, but you're not really compatible in your goals, values, or beliefs. It's time to let go of the fairytale and see it for what it really is: a bad match. 

4. You feel guilty about the idea of leaving him. You want to get out, and you know it's not healthy for either of you, but you know he'll be devastated and you don't want to hurt him. You may also feel that if you leave him, he won’t be able to find another woman who will care for him, and he'll fall into a depression.

5. You're feeling pressure from family or friends. You know he's not the right guy for you, but your family likes him so much and you just don't want to upset them. Or, all of your siblings and most of your friends are married already, and everyone's questioning when you're going to settle down, asking you "when's the wedding?" 

6. It's easy. The relationship is not great, and certainly not what you always wanted, but it fits in your comfort zone, and you're afraid of change. He's not the worst partner, and who knows if you'll find anything better; as the saying goes, the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know. Trust in your heart that when you learn how to find and choose the kind of guy that's right for you, change will be good.

7. You're afraid that no one else will want you. You're afraid you won't be chosen by anyone else, so you stick with what you've got. This one is all too common, and is due to low self-confidence and low self-esteem. The good news is that it's fixable, and you can have fun in the process. By trying new things, learning new skills, and finding out what makes you happy, you will build up your confidence levels. Finally, your self-esteem will automatically rise with it.

No Super Power

Hi guys :).. So I have this to say..
Ladies when you're in a relationship, please remember that when you have a problem with something your partner does, you need to voice it, instead of reacting to something, that he may not be aware that he is doing. Men aren't psychics, they won't know why you're upset, grow up and do you both a favor, and say what's on your mind, so that you can fix it.