Cheating doesn’t just start at someone’s lips and end in
their pants. Cheating describes anything you do with someone that you wouldn’t
want your partner to know about. So many people engage in sketchy behavior and
say, “It’s not technically cheating.” Oh yeah? Then why don’t you call up your
partner and tell them in detail what you did? No? Don’t want to do that?
Exactly. If you really love someone, your mentality shouldn’t be, “What can I
get away with?” It should be, “I want to be super conscious that I don’t even
accidentally find myself in a situation that would hurt my partner.” And, all
of these situations would.
Pondering about what
could have been
Sometimes someone from the past drops into your life—someone
who you almost got with, or who there was always sexual tension with. They
start running in the same social circles as you. But now, you’re taken. It’s
immature but sometimes those people will try to engage you in conversations
that start with something like, “It’s a shame we never got together.” It’s
always flattering—yes. But, how would your partner like to know that you replied
to that with, “I know. I was always so attracted to you.” How would you like to
stumble across a little instant message chat between your partner and someone
else that looked like that? If somebody from the past tries to get you into a chat
like that, you should immediately say, “Well, I’m honestly really happy with
the person I’m with now.”
Your friendship is based on sexual tension
No one will ever admit when they have a friendship like
this. You might be in a happy relationship but, you have one single male friend
who, you know, if he got into a relationship, you wouldn’t be
friends with anymore. What does that say? That what’s holding that BS “friendship”
together is the possibility of “what if?” a likelihood that vanishes if you are both taken.
If you know you’d be envious to see one of your male friends with another
female, you either need to end that friendship or end your relationship, because
clearly you’re not 100% committed to or realistic about either.
A friend who likes
you
Do you have a friend who is in love with you? He blatantly
says things like, “I’m going to try to steal you from your man” or sends you
texts saying, “I’m thinking about you…” Not only is it completely unfair to
your partner for you to keep someone like this in your life, but why are you
keeping that friend around? Simple: you want attention. You need attention.
It’s more important to you than being faithful and yes, if you’re indulging
that sort of attention from another man, you’re being emotionally unfaithful.
If you do anything short of telling that person they’ve got to get out of your
life, then you’re indulging a deep and dark desire for attention. It is your
responsibility to make that behavior stop. And, it’s yours because you’re the
one who has the power to hurt your boyfriend’s feelings. Your lovesick friend
isn’t responsible to anyone’s feelings. He’s single.
Don’t ask, don’t tell
This goes back to the need for attention issue. If you’re
ever in a situation where clearly someone is entertaining the idea of hitting
on you or trying to hook up with you, and you do not tell him you’re in a
relationship, something’s wrong in that head of yours. If you’re out with a
group of single girlfriends and you meet a group of single males, who you end
up spending most of the night with—fine. But, if your 3 girls are hitting it
off with 3 of the guys, and the 4th one is eagerly sticking by
your side, how would your boyfriend like to know that you never told
him you were in a relationship? How would he like to know that you let this guy
believe all night he was earning brownie points towards sleeping with you? How
would you like if the reverse happened? The excuse, “He didn’t ask, so I didn’t
tell him I had a boyfriend” doesn’t fly. What would the harm be in telling him?
Oh yeah. You wouldn’t get attention anymore.
He has a girlfriend/wife
Sometimes a man just doesn’t know what he wants. He’s got a
girlfriend. He also wants you. You really want him. Instead of
being strong and walking away, you allow yourself to engage in what you believe
is a “gray area.” You get late night drinks with this guy and have deep
conversations that the girlfriend never knows about. You never touch. But, you
are both 100% aware of and communicative about the fact you’re attracted to
each other. But, you never touch, so it’s okay—right? WRONG. How would you like
to be that guy’s girlfriend? Honestly, you’re just letting a selfish and
immature guy have his cake and eat it too by engaging in this type of behavior.
You’re carrying on an emotional affair.
CHILD PLEASE, if you’re already having to say things like,
“He started it” “I’m not doing anything” or anything of the sort you know you’re
engaging in something wrong. People have a tendency to start or continue
things, and when the party is ready to move forward, they are afraid to commit
to them, for the fear of losing what they have. YOU can always take responsibility and stop
it. The fact that YOU are not doing anything might be the problem—you could
block that phone number, ignore those texts and tell someone to go away.
And what if you are dating someone, who specifically makes it a point to NOT make it official. You continually reiterate this means monogamy is not expected, on either end. He knows this, he asks for this. However, he does not hook up with anyone else but freaks out when finds out you have, then claims he was just "testing you". All you wanted all along was him, and when you find solace in someone else, this drives him away. Total BS right??
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