Blessed is he who realizes that he is not perfect,but takes time to better himself...
We ask so many question throughout the day, to become more knowledgeable than we were the day before.. But I think one very important question that we neglect to ask another person is, "What do you think of me"?... You see, although many may say that what others think of them, is not important, I don't believe that, well to an extent I do, I do think that what persons close to you, think of you, is extremely important.. See often times we place ourselves on a pedestal, where we somehow think that we are doing everything as it should be done, whether in relation to our children, our relationships,friendships,family matters, work, whatever it be. And yes we know that we aren't perfect, but reality is, most of us only know that in theory.. You know.. "No one is perfect"... But do we really look at the situations that arise in our lives and take blame, accept responsibility, apologize and try to make ourselves better? Or is it easier for us, to blame the other party, and walk away either bitter or with guilt pulling at everything inside you, but pride saying"forget that, you don't need anyone throwing anything in your face"...
Sometimes it's easier to not accept responsibility in the failure of a marriage/relationship/friendship/attitude or actions of your child.loss of a job, it's easier to notice the faults of someone else, and not look within ourselves. Sometimes without knowing it, our actions or words, affect persons very close to us, negatively, and while yes it is our life to live, we also need to take others into consideration, because no man is an island, and we would want others to keep in mind, how their actions may affect us.
Take time to ask a question, take time to ask persons how they think you can make yourself better, what they would want from you, you can tell them what you may want from them, sometimes it may be really simple things, a hug, a shoulder, things that you may think you're giving, and really you're not.
Maybe you want your partner to be more affectionate, but he isn't(at least not in a way that you recognize), and he doesn't realize that he lacks in that department and you aren't saying anything because you don't think you should have to say it, because you believe that you show him affection,and so there you are with all that built up anger you accumulate from not actually telling your partner you want him to be affectionate, which translates into you not showing much affection, and then your partner now is looking at you and maybe thinking, gosh I wish she would show me some affection. And then there is this never ending cycle, because no one is asking a question or speaking out.
Same goes for your child, you may want he or she too listen when you speak, but you don't listen to him/her when he/she speaks, and yes you are the parent, and he/she is the child, but he/she is also human, and they have opinions,they have voices and they have feelings.
Everyone wants a little recognition, acknowledge it, everyone sees room for improvement in their loved ones, tell them, and take into consideration that they may see room for improvement in you.
Let's become a society where saying is not enough, but doing is what we require. The question is not whether or not you love, or appreciate,but it's how you show it. Have a blessed day
Wednesday 28 November 2012
Saturday 24 November 2012
Tuesday 6 November 2012
A little love goes a long way
I'm a feeler... Well I'm not sure if that's the correct terminology, lol.. But I feel people's pain when they speak to me, call it whatever you want.. I say I'm a feeler. I haven't been able to distance myself as well as I would like, cause I'm also an extremist.. It's one extreme to the other. But I don't always see this as a curse, because I'm usually able to tell two sides, be logical and explain what needs to be explained.. Be the voice of reason and everything. So with that being said, I have something really important to say..
When i experienced some difficult times with my mom, I was able to turn to some very supportive persons, yet one person really stood out for me and made me realize that within my own self that I did not always look at both sides when it came to my own life, which I guess happens alot with persons. So anyway this amazing woman(My Mother In Law to be :) ) told me that maybe my mo was hurt before and that hardened her heart a bit, and without even knowing it, she transfers that hurt unto those who love her the most. And that I should let her know that I love her and try to understand where she was coming from. Really it sounds like common sense but really it wasn't at the moment, I guess because I was the one in the situation. Whatever the reason, I'm glad I heard it, and I thin that made me realize a lot of things after, pertaining to other persons and their issues..
Sometimes we think that we're so great and we do all that we can do for everyone else, and that they should be extremely grateful for what we do. But really, sometimes we fall short in the eyes of our loved ones, sometimes we aren't so great as we think, not that we're completely bad, but just that we're not perfect. Sometimes people have their own demons to fight and they aren't able to praise us for putting a meal on the table and providing the basics necessities, but that doesn't give us the right to assume that they're ungrateful. The world changes everyday, and everyday most of us lose sight, and we focus on ourselves and forget that like us, other persons have issues, as young as they may be, but not because someone doesn't have the same issues or problems like you, that doesn't mean that they are valid.
Remember that sometimes all we need is a hug, some encouraging words, some I love you's and a cup of tea... Shared responsibility and communication also makes it a whole lot better :).... Lol so remember to keep in mind that sometimes when we think that we show our love by doing the basic things another human requires, sometimes that's not enough, they need to hear it.. I'm sure you do at times... Be the change you want to see in others... It starts within.
When i experienced some difficult times with my mom, I was able to turn to some very supportive persons, yet one person really stood out for me and made me realize that within my own self that I did not always look at both sides when it came to my own life, which I guess happens alot with persons. So anyway this amazing woman(My Mother In Law to be :) ) told me that maybe my mo was hurt before and that hardened her heart a bit, and without even knowing it, she transfers that hurt unto those who love her the most. And that I should let her know that I love her and try to understand where she was coming from. Really it sounds like common sense but really it wasn't at the moment, I guess because I was the one in the situation. Whatever the reason, I'm glad I heard it, and I thin that made me realize a lot of things after, pertaining to other persons and their issues..
Sometimes we think that we're so great and we do all that we can do for everyone else, and that they should be extremely grateful for what we do. But really, sometimes we fall short in the eyes of our loved ones, sometimes we aren't so great as we think, not that we're completely bad, but just that we're not perfect. Sometimes people have their own demons to fight and they aren't able to praise us for putting a meal on the table and providing the basics necessities, but that doesn't give us the right to assume that they're ungrateful. The world changes everyday, and everyday most of us lose sight, and we focus on ourselves and forget that like us, other persons have issues, as young as they may be, but not because someone doesn't have the same issues or problems like you, that doesn't mean that they are valid.
Remember that sometimes all we need is a hug, some encouraging words, some I love you's and a cup of tea... Shared responsibility and communication also makes it a whole lot better :).... Lol so remember to keep in mind that sometimes when we think that we show our love by doing the basic things another human requires, sometimes that's not enough, they need to hear it.. I'm sure you do at times... Be the change you want to see in others... It starts within.
To My Danny with Love..
Hi Danny, how are you?.. I know we haven't been as close as we should be, because I'm really not that much older than you.. I guess it's my fault, because I've never really reached out.. But that's gonna stop from today. I'm here to talk to you, wanted it to be open and honest, and for the World to see that you're loved..
Let me say that you're beautiful, inside and out, always have and always will be, regardless of what anyone may say, and frankly it doesn't really matter what anyone says, because everyone has their faults, so let me say that if someone picks at your flaws, it's only because they're in denial about themselves. But that doesn't mean that you live up to their negative assumptions, live above it, take each negative word that they throw your way, and build yourself higher, at first you may cry about it, be mad about it, but don't ever live up to it, don't stay down, because you were destined for greatness.
Remember to always keep a good head on your shoulders, yes you're at an age where boys are the best thing out there, but really they aren't. You are priceless, act like it, because you know what? These same guys you meet now, who may want you to go through hell and back to prove to them you care, they're gonna be the same ones you see in the street years from now, doing the same thing they're doing now.. Nothing.. It's happened, to many women before you. You'll grow to realize that the sweet words they say, mean nothing, it's simply a way to get sex, yes you'll have feelings, even fall in love, but keep in mind that it probably won't lasts like you pictured it in your head. Take pride in yourself, know that you're worth something, you're not cheap, don't make yourself affordable to someone who can only buy KFC and give you children.
Be smart and know that you don't want or need drama in your life, walk away from it, and any guy who brings it to you, doesn't care, don't make excuses, any friend who brings it into your life, leave them behind, they were not a friend to begin with. Any family member who speaks it into your life, rebuke it. You are not negativity...
Yes you will fall short, but you won't remain there, yes you will want love, and when God is ready he'll send it. And he'll send something that never in a million you thought you would experience. Things may not always go the way you want it too, but it will always go the way it should have.
Remember you're a child of God, have respect, ask for forgiveness for the wrong you've done, accept your faults, try to improve them, learn to forgive and move on. Everything will fall into place. Just believe it will.. Do positive thing, and positive things will follow, be honest, and if you think that you can't be honest about certain things, then you shouldn't be doing it, lol I've learnt this and so I'm sharing it with you... Let as the months go by, you're the person you really want to be. Not the person you think your friends will like, but the person you're proud to be!
If ever you feel like you have to choose between actions that your friends will like and actions your family will approve of, choose the latter, it will pay off, you don't have to be lame, but remember that there is a life after school, you will meet people after, you will fall in love, you will go to University and be thrown into a whole different world, and you don't want negative things you did in the past, to follow you, because they don't stay behind..
So with this being said, I love you, I hoped I touched something in your heart and Remember that I'm always here... Without judgement.
Let me say that you're beautiful, inside and out, always have and always will be, regardless of what anyone may say, and frankly it doesn't really matter what anyone says, because everyone has their faults, so let me say that if someone picks at your flaws, it's only because they're in denial about themselves. But that doesn't mean that you live up to their negative assumptions, live above it, take each negative word that they throw your way, and build yourself higher, at first you may cry about it, be mad about it, but don't ever live up to it, don't stay down, because you were destined for greatness.
Remember to always keep a good head on your shoulders, yes you're at an age where boys are the best thing out there, but really they aren't. You are priceless, act like it, because you know what? These same guys you meet now, who may want you to go through hell and back to prove to them you care, they're gonna be the same ones you see in the street years from now, doing the same thing they're doing now.. Nothing.. It's happened, to many women before you. You'll grow to realize that the sweet words they say, mean nothing, it's simply a way to get sex, yes you'll have feelings, even fall in love, but keep in mind that it probably won't lasts like you pictured it in your head. Take pride in yourself, know that you're worth something, you're not cheap, don't make yourself affordable to someone who can only buy KFC and give you children.
Be smart and know that you don't want or need drama in your life, walk away from it, and any guy who brings it to you, doesn't care, don't make excuses, any friend who brings it into your life, leave them behind, they were not a friend to begin with. Any family member who speaks it into your life, rebuke it. You are not negativity...
Yes you will fall short, but you won't remain there, yes you will want love, and when God is ready he'll send it. And he'll send something that never in a million you thought you would experience. Things may not always go the way you want it too, but it will always go the way it should have.
Remember you're a child of God, have respect, ask for forgiveness for the wrong you've done, accept your faults, try to improve them, learn to forgive and move on. Everything will fall into place. Just believe it will.. Do positive thing, and positive things will follow, be honest, and if you think that you can't be honest about certain things, then you shouldn't be doing it, lol I've learnt this and so I'm sharing it with you... Let as the months go by, you're the person you really want to be. Not the person you think your friends will like, but the person you're proud to be!
If ever you feel like you have to choose between actions that your friends will like and actions your family will approve of, choose the latter, it will pay off, you don't have to be lame, but remember that there is a life after school, you will meet people after, you will fall in love, you will go to University and be thrown into a whole different world, and you don't want negative things you did in the past, to follow you, because they don't stay behind..
So with this being said, I love you, I hoped I touched something in your heart and Remember that I'm always here... Without judgement.
Not all men are dogs.....
You aren't the best woman there is,be honest with yourself.
You're black! Accept it
I'm not sure if I ever spoken about this here, but I know that I'm tired of saying it. I'm not sure about countries and cultures, but in my country (Trinidad and Tobago), persons have a way of breaking down everything they're family is mixed with and then claiming that they're mixed.
LISTEN!!!!! Not because your father's father's great grandmother's sister's niece who married Uncle Benny's cousin was french, means that you're mixed with French!!! Get a grip!! If ninety five percent of you is black, then you're black!!!! Embrace it! It;s unique, uplift it, don't fight it!! Damn!!
LISTEN!!!!! Not because your father's father's great grandmother's sister's niece who married Uncle Benny's cousin was french, means that you're mixed with French!!! Get a grip!! If ninety five percent of you is black, then you're black!!!! Embrace it! It;s unique, uplift it, don't fight it!! Damn!!
Learning when to forgive
Sometimes we want to keep someone in our lives so bad, that we overlook every fault they possess. And some even say 'I don't live in the past" in order to justify why they tolerate and "forget" the wrong done to them. Some may disagree, and some may agree, I get forgiving your partner, because we are humans, and we do make mistakes, but forgiveness and forgetfulness should be given and done when you see promise in your partner, when you see them making an effort to correct their mistake, when they take ownership of the wrong they've done. If you continuously and conveniently forgive and forget because you want to keep him/her, you're selling yourself short every time. If after so many times of me doing something wrong, and you forgive every time without me even having to say sorry, or maybe you give me the option of saying sorry when I feel like it,while you still stick with me, I'll tell myself you don't think very much of yourself and you need me,that's why you let me do whatever I want.... And you know what? I'll do just that, every time.
Yes you've put time in,but think of how much time you're going to waste if you don't address and fix your issues. Work on them together, listen, explain and be honest, say when something affects you, but don't say it in a way where you come off as you do everything perfectly, because the truth is we view ourselves differently from what people actually see. Give it a try today :)
Yes you've put time in,but think of how much time you're going to waste if you don't address and fix your issues. Work on them together, listen, explain and be honest, say when something affects you, but don't say it in a way where you come off as you do everything perfectly, because the truth is we view ourselves differently from what people actually see. Give it a try today :)
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