STOP THE INSANITY

Only utter bs can stop me from going to sleep. So I'm here to express my thoughts on this crazy stupid matter. 
Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, Ladies!!! Get your shit together!!. 
If the man you are with does not treat you right, not spectacular, extraordinary or amazing, but just right, then something is wrong!. You're not asking for houses, diamonds, cars or anything of the sort,  just a little love and appreciation, and you can't get it, then something is WRONG!. 


For the females who aren't even in a relationship, yet have all the problems of someone who does and some, yall are stupid. And yes the rest of the world perceives you as such, so saying "I'm not an ass" or "No one can take me for an ass" is honestly, false advertising. Someone is taking you for a ride... Like an ass, without the commitment. And I bet he has a gf... urghh Stupid! You should be worth enough that someone will be willing to commit to you. If not, you're selling yourself short, get yo ass off the sales rack!!!. Don't put yourself there and then expect to be treated like Couture.

For those of yall in relationships. If you're partner isn't acting right by you, then no amount of tweets, pictures, or statuses can make him change!!! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!! COMMUNICATE!! lay it all on the table and fix the problems, sort them out and find solutions, and if nun can be fixed, come to the realization that it wasn't meant to be. Because, the more pictures, statues and UNAVAILABLE statuses, isn't going to stop the same thing from happening. If you're sitting there hoping that one day he'll care enough to ask what's wrong, or your statuses, or pics will make a light bulb go off in his head, then you're wasting precious time that you will NEVER get back. 


PLEASE LEARN TO COMMUNICATE!!!!!!

No Grey area.. It's wrong!

Cheating doesn’t just start at someone’s lips and end in their pants. Cheating describes anything you do with someone that you wouldn’t want your partner to know about. So many people engage in sketchy behavior and say, “It’s not technically cheating.” Oh yeah? Then why don’t you call up your partner and tell them in detail what you did? No? Don’t want to do that? Exactly. If you really love someone, your mentality shouldn’t be, “What can I get away with?” It should be, “I want to be super conscious that I don’t even accidentally find myself in a situation that would hurt my partner.” And, all of these situations would.

Pondering about what could have been

Sometimes someone from the past drops into your life—someone who you almost got with, or who there was always sexual tension with. They start running in the same social circles as you. But now, you’re taken. It’s immature but sometimes those people will try to engage you in conversations that start with something like, “It’s a shame we never got together.” It’s always flattering—yes. But, how would your partner like to know that you replied to that with, “I know. I was always so attracted to you.” How would you like to stumble across a little instant message chat between your partner and someone else that looked like that? If somebody from the past tries to get you into a chat like that, you should immediately say, “Well, I’m honestly really happy with the person I’m with now.”

Your friendship is based on sexual tension

No one will ever admit when they have a friendship like this. You might be in a happy relationship but, you have one single male friend who, you know, if he got into a relationship, you wouldn’t be friends with anymore. What does that say? That what’s holding that BS “friendship” together is the possibility of “what if?” a likelihood that vanishes if you are both taken. If you know you’d be envious to see one of your male friends with another female, you either need to end that friendship or end your relationship, because clearly you’re not 100% committed to or realistic about either.

A friend who likes you

Do you have a friend who is in love with you? He blatantly says things like, “I’m going to try to steal you from your man” or sends you texts saying, “I’m thinking about you…” Not only is it completely unfair to your partner for you to keep someone like this in your life, but why are you keeping that friend around? Simple: you want attention. You need attention. It’s more important to you than being faithful and yes, if you’re indulging that sort of attention from another man, you’re being emotionally unfaithful. If you do anything short of telling that person they’ve got to get out of your life, then you’re indulging a deep and dark desire for attention. It is your responsibility to make that behavior stop. And, it’s yours because you’re the one who has the power to hurt your boyfriend’s feelings. Your lovesick friend isn’t responsible to anyone’s feelings. He’s single.

Don’t ask, don’t tell

This goes back to the need for attention issue. If you’re ever in a situation where clearly someone is entertaining the idea of hitting on you or trying to hook up with you, and you do not tell him you’re in a relationship, something’s wrong in that head of yours. If you’re out with a group of single girlfriends and you meet a group of single males, who you end up spending most of the night with—fine. But, if your 3 girls are hitting it off with 3 of the guys, and the 4^th one is eagerly sticking by your side, how would your boyfriend like to know that you never told him you were in a relationship? How would he like to know that you let this guy believe all night he was earning brownie points towards sleeping with you? How would you like if the reverse happened? The excuse, “He didn’t ask, so I didn’t tell him I had a boyfriend” doesn’t fly. What would the harm be in telling him? Oh yeah. You wouldn’t get attention anymore.

He has a girlfriend/wife

Sometimes a man just doesn’t know what he wants. He’s got a girlfriend. He also wants you. You really want him. Instead of being strong and walking away, you allow yourself to engage in what you believe is a “gray area.” You get late night drinks with this guy and have deep conversations that the girlfriend never knows about. You never touch. But, you are both 100% aware of and communicative about the fact you’re attracted to each other. But, you never touch, so it’s okay—right? WRONG. How would you like to be that guy’s girlfriend? Honestly, you’re just letting a selfish and immature guy have his cake and eat it too by engaging in this type of behavior. You’re carrying on an emotional affair.

CHILD PLEASE, if you’re already having to say things like, “He started it” “I’m not doing anything” or anything of the sort you know you’re engaging in something wrong. People have a tendency to start or continue things, and when the party is ready to move forward, they are afraid to commit to them, for the fear of losing what they have.  YOU can always take responsibility and stop it. The fact that YOU are not doing anything might be the problem—you could block that phone number, ignore those texts and tell someone to go away.

Awful Reasons to stay

We’ve all been in that relationship before where our friends, family and coworkers wonder why you’re still in. Sure, it started out great, with all of the thrill and fireworks of new and exciting love. He chased you, won your heart and told you everything you wanted to hear; he made you feel so beautiful, so alive, so wanted.

But, bit by bit, things started to change. There were fights, hurt feelings and things that were said that shouldn’t be said to anyone. There were also scars that couldn’t heal and there may have been infidelity. It just keeps getting worse. Of course, there were also apologies and the highly dramatic make-ups that seemed like the only thing that brought you close to that original excitement that you now wanted to get back to so badly … but you could never quite get there. So, you settled for the break-up and make-up rollercoaster ride to fill the emotional void that was ever widening.

Ultimately you find yourself submissive to a constant feeling of depression, which — when coupled with a lack of communication and support — leads to a life that’s just utterly lacking in love. But, still, you can’t let go.What is it that forces us to stay in relationships that aren’t good for us? There are many reasons, but more often than not, it’s a combination of several motivations. The first step towards making your situation better is in understanding why you’re making the choices you’re making to begin with. 

1. You're afraid you're getting old. You're afraid if you leave, you'll feel desperate to find someone else quickly because you think you're running out of time. You may also feel that if you can just make this work it will be much better than having to start all over again with someone new or you may feel the pressure of your biological clock ticking. Bad relationships don't get better with age.

2. You're afraid of being lonely. This is one of the most common reasons for staying in a relationship that's just not working. You may have very clear memories of how alone you felt on those long lonely Saturday nights when you had no plans and nobody to be with. As much as we all long for someone to share the beautiful, special moments in life with, as well as someone to be intimate with, being with the wrong person just for the sake of avoiding being alone will ultimately lead to more pain and sadness than the pain of loneliness.

3. You're stuck in the fairytale. It started out as such a storybook romance. He was the knight in shining armor, you the damsel in distress. Or, it was such a fateful, romantic chance meeting that brought the two of you together that you just know it was destiny, and you'll do whatever it takes to fulfill that destiny. But, the reality is something more like this: he was charming in the beginning, you had some great chemistry, but you're not really compatible in your goals, values, or beliefs. It's time to let go of the fairytale and see it for what it really is: a bad match. 

4. You feel guilty about the idea of leaving him. You want to get out, and you know it's not healthy for either of you, but you know he'll be devastated and you don't want to hurt him. You may also feel that if you leave him, he won’t be able to find another woman who will care for him, and he'll fall into a depression.

5. You're feeling pressure from family or friends. You know he's not the right guy for you, but your family likes him so much and you just don't want to upset them. Or, all of your siblings and most of your friends are married already, and everyone's questioning when you're going to settle down, asking you "when's the wedding?" 

6. It's easy. The relationship is not great, and certainly not what you always wanted, but it fits in your comfort zone, and you're afraid of change. He's not the worst partner, and who knows if you'll find anything better; as the saying goes, the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know. Trust in your heart that when you learn how to find and choose the kind of guy that's right for you, change will be good.

7. You're afraid that no one else will want you. You're afraid you won't be chosen by anyone else, so you stick with what you've got. This one is all too common, and is due to low self-confidence and low self-esteem. The good news is that it's fixable, and you can have fun in the process. By trying new things, learning new skills, and finding out what makes you happy, you will build up your confidence levels. Finally, your self-esteem will automatically rise with it.

No Super Power

Hi guys :).. So I have this to say..
Ladies when you're in a relationship, please remember that when you have a problem with something your partner does, you need to voice it, instead of reacting to something, that he may not be aware that he is doing. Men aren't psychics, they won't know why you're upset, grow up and do you both a favor, and say what's on your mind, so that you can fix it.  

Don't be caught of guard

Despite divorce being so common, many couples are caught off guard when it actually happens to them. They believe that if they just begin to love one another again, everything will turn out fine. This myth, however, lulls them into missing the warning signs that suggest that their marriage is in trouble.  Here are 10 ways to tell if your marriage is over:

1. Sex is consistently boring and a task. A satisfying sex life is vital to health and happiness. A long-term frustration of this basic human need can signal the end of a marriage.

2. There are many problems and only a few solutions. The incapability to negotiate and find workable solutions to common relationship issues turns partners into bitter rivals.

3. Character slaying happens in your marriage. Name-calling, foul language, condescending put-downs, and personal attacks aimed at embarrassing and hurting a spouse are a sure path to divorce.

4. You're angry all the time. Accumulated anger kills love! If you and your spouse don't know how to handle anger and it piles up like a mountain in your relationship, divorce is inevitable.

5. One of you cheats. With a lot of professional help, most marriages survive can when a partner cheats once. Repeated affairs cause so much pain divorce is usually sought after relief.

6. There is selfishness within your marriage. Marriage is a give and take relationship and it's about making your partner's needs a top priority. Self-centered husbands or wives have partners who feel ignored and neglected will eventually want out at all costs.

7. One or both of you always needs to be right. When your partner's always right and you're always wrong, it feels suffocating. When you do not have a voice that's heard and appreciated marriage turns into a dictatorship. Divorce provides you that desirable freedom that you do not receive from your spouse.

8. It's not in the kiss anymore. When you would rather have sex than passionately kiss, your marriage is in deep trouble.

9. The conversations are over. The best way to have a happy marriage is to talk your way through it. This means sharing thoughts and feelings so that you're emotionally in sync. Without this bond, marriage is an empty and lonely place where partners want to leave.

10. There is too little or too much money. When both partners need to work and one earns significantly more than the other, especially if it's the wife, control issues can sabotage the marriage.  However too much extra cash, when partners are not careful, can fuel a party on lifestyle that invites temptations that cause damage to a marriage as well as the lasting values that remind us of what's really important in life.  

Homophobes? You're Probably Gay

That's right, haters. You're more likely to be gay than us tolerant folk.

It's not a secret that if someone outwardly and obsessively hates something it's likely because of one of two reasons. They're either jealous and their jealousy fuels their hatred, or they recognize something they hate about themselves in the thing on which their disdain is focused.

Remember when former Republican senator Larry Craig, who was always so anti-gay rights, got caught "tapping" his foot in a men's bathroom, looking for some man-on-man love? Hypocrite! Even more well-known is Ted Haggard, the crazy gay-hating evangelical Christian who, despite his sermons that condemned homosexuality, was getting busy with a male escort and doing crystal meth to boot. It wouldn't be until 2011, five years after that scandal broke, that Haggard admitted to being "bisexual." Can we be remotely surprised at either of these? It seems like simple logic to me.

Now a recent study has confirmed what many of us already assumed. All that homophobia is just proof that you're repressing some same-sex attraction of your own. That's right, haters, you are more likely to be gay than those of us are of the "live and let live" mentality. Honestly, this can't possibly shock you. All the wasted energy on such vile hatred has to stem from somewhere, and usually it's an inner conflict, especially for those who are raised in religious families and communities.

This study, which will hopefully rip certain right-wingers a new something-or-other, was published in April's Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Thanks to research that was conducted in the U.S. and Germany, scientists found evidence that supports the "psychoanalytic theory that fear, anxiety, and aversion that toward gays and lesbians can grow out of a seemingly heterosexual individual's own repressed same-sex desires." Co-author Richard Ryan, who is a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester, also said that although we can laugh at this "blatant hypocrisy" on the part of these haters, the fact is that "homophobia is not a laughing matter." He's very right.

The study also confirms that children who are raised in a home where they're accepted unconditionally, as opposed to those who are forced to conform, grow up not only more accepting of themselves, but more accepting of the differences in others no matter what their sexual orientation. Again, not exactly news, because we all know that if you raise your kids to hate, then they will more than likely hate. However, it's a heartening confirmation. 

Well, it's always nice to be right. I hope this study changes at least some bigots' minds. Now go forth and allow others to love (and marry) whoever they want.

Crazy lady syndrome

Let’s face it: women have a tendency to overkill reflection. We ponder the “what ifs” to such a degree we talk ourselves into believing all sorts of nonsense. Only a woman would believe, for example, that the reason her man didn’t come home when he said he would was because he was in some horrible accident. The real reason the cute online guy didn’t write you back? Because he accidentally deleted that carefully constructed email you sent, so you had better send him another one—just in case. No phone call? Broken/dead/lost/stolen phone. Sounds familiar?

Occasionally I will regret a few things that just happen to pop out of my mouth OR wish I had avoided doing something-or-other OR totally agonize over some stupid shit I could have experienced if only . . . .

Take these last 72 hours, for instance. I had an absolutely wonderful, successful day and I’m still racking my brain over how much better it would have been had I done things just a wee bit differently. Then I think about how much better my whole life would be if I didn’t repeat some of the same patterns that surface almost on a daily basis. THEN I worry over all of the bullshit things I have absolutely no control over but sort of secretly believe I can affect. Why? 

Anyway, I was able to be a part of a crazy lifetime movie scenario. One involving a taken jealous female and a handsome guy, the whole situation made me think omg those crazy ladies from lifetime are real!! It’s not made up!.lol, seriously though, we as females, and I say we because I know I’ve done it so many times, tend to take this much further in our heads, in our minds, when we’re alone, we fantasize about certain situations, and even though there may be nothing serious going on, and we’ve been told that, we can’t help but have little pretend family gatherings, weddings and future babies in our minds… sounds crazy right?. But it’s true. And we project it, although we feel like we don’t, if I replay scenarios, or over think something in my head, and make it more than what it is, and then I begin to act on it, subconsciously.  And in the end, I’ll end up hurt, because feelings intensify on my end and no one else’s.

So the next time you find yourself doing this, please stop yourself!!!! It doesn’t end well if you’re the only one feeling this way or doing this, especially if the other party has already made their intentions clear.