Fighting in a relationship can be extremely draining. Any amount of tension seems to be felt ten times as much as it is with a friend or family member. That could be because sex is involved…Either way, you don’t want to make that feeling even worse, and you don’t want to prolong it.
So here are some tips to avoid this…
Joke about it
Once a fight is over, it's over. Don’t make passive aggressive comments about something your guy/girl did wrong after you’ve made up. Don’t bring up the thing he did to piss you off as a story to entertain your friends or family. You may not be meaning to actually fight about it again, but pretty much any manner in which you bring it up will stir up tension again.
Stacking things up
Don’t wait until your guy/girl has done something wrong a number of times before yelling “you always do this!” He didn’t realize he always did this! He didn’t realize that this was a problem at all. But if you let him do it multiple times before you bring it up, he has to deal with multiple times the wrath. The first time he does it, say something. Don't be so afraid to lose a guy that you tolerate and tolerate until you blow up, because by then it will be too late to fix anything and your worst nightmare will become a reality.
Confronting at the wrong time
Don’t be that couple who makes others uncomfortable by arguing in public. On a double date with your best friends, or at dinner with your parents, or even just standing in line at the grocery store is not the best place to bring an issue up for the first time. Then, your man has to deal with the added stress of being watched while he tries to dig himself out of a hole.
Holding it in
It’s healthier to expose how something makes you feel—even if that means using some harsh words—than to cover it up. And, come on, he’s a man. He will appreciate that straight-forwardness because in general, that is how men talk with their friends.
Turning it outward
He doesn’t need to know that whatever it is he did made him look like an idiot, or proved that he is a complete a**hole. All he needs to know is how it made you feel. The fight shouldn’t be about making him feel bad, it should be about making you feel better.
Bringing someone else into it
Do not tell him that your mom, your brother, his'your best friend and all of your friends “totally agree with me on this.” And that they all think he is selfish, ignorant, insensitive or x, y, z just like you do. You don’t need their opinion to back you up. It will just annoy the hell out of your guy that you’ve been talking about him behind his back, and if he cares enough about you, all he needs to know is what you think of him. Not what the town thinks
Talking down to him
Don’t use a sarcastic tone. Don’t sit him down, hold his hand and talk slowly as if you’re instructing a kindergartener. Being put in that sort of position really aggravates a man. Say what you have to say matter of factly. Look him square in the eye. Don’t beat around the bush or use metaphors.
It's so much better to work on a problem as it arises. Don't put it off or run away from it. That only makes matters worst
No comments:
Post a Comment