From one female to another with love

Hi darlings :)... Today I had a conversation with a woman dear to my heart, one of my aunts who has been through every crazy moment in my life and who I'm sure will be there through all the future craziness I experience. She's been my mother emotionally and every time I speak to her I'm sure to come off the phone laughing or with some knowledge. Anyway we had a conversation today and it was about a number of things, and I would like to share some of them with you guys :) so enjoy..


Being Secure
This is exactly what it says, being secure,and in this state I mean,sure of yourself in a relationship. Not having to call out someone for merely speaking to the guy/girl you're with. Being sure that you know this is me,that is him, we are together and I know he is for me and I am secure in what we have. I don't feel the need to subtly tell some random female that he's my man. I understand him, I understand us and I am strong in what I have with him. He reassures you daily, so your relationship is affirmed with him and some other random chick doesn't faze you or threaten you. 


Cheating and getting past it
If you have cheated on your partner, you cannot expect them to just say "oh well thank God you told me!!". Or they found out and you admitted it, and you think that well if they stayed with me they should just get over it. People get over things in their own way at their own pace. Some people check the mileage on the car, check your messages,email,twitter,fb,calls,or question everything. But that's only to be able to trust you again. And when they feel like they can give you that trust, then these things will fade away. Don't ask why they don't trust you,because they did, you just gave them a reason not too. 


Losing yourself for your partner.
So many women do this, they put everything into a relationship or this man. They make sure he is well fed,dressed,comfortable and everything, only to be given grief and pain in return. Forget what you want for a minute and remember what you deserve. At least you should get some reciprocation.Nobody knows exactly what feelings you have for this person, and it's easy for someone to say girl leave!! you deserve better.. And sometimes yes you do,but don't just look at the love you feel,but the love you get in return as well. Don't force something, when someone is for you, you two will work beautifully, it won't be perfect but there will be a calmness and all round great feeling in your relationship. If you have to force something,maybe that's not the something for you. 


Privacy
Gosh this is a beautiful thing. I have learned the hard way not to get people in every aspect of my life. Up to recently my boyfriend said that I hid him for awhile,lol and that's true. Mainly because I wanted time with him where not many people were involved in what we had, and because my life has been crazy in the boyfriend aspect, I wanted a relationship that was just mine for awhile,lol which is funny because that's how it should be. Anyway it's a good practice to keep your relationship private, at least some aspects of it. Not in the sense that nobody even knows the person you're with,even has a gf/bf though. Don't let someone completely hide you and use "privacy" as an excuse. 


Staying out of other peoples relationship
STAY OUT!!!. I don't give advice on relationships directly any more, for the known fact that people make up and then you become the enemy. When a girlfriend comes to me with problems, all I ever say is you know what you have, you know the love you have, you know what you get in this relationship, you would know if it's really worth saving. Talk to the person, like a civilised adult and work out your problems. You will know if the answers he may give are acceptable. I cannot tell you what to do in your relationship. Just don't settle. 


From one learning lady to another :) Happy reading