When It's time to let go

Some couples you would be shocked to see separated. They are great for each other. You know they care about one another and love each other. Others you question constantly, “Why are they still together?” as argument seems to be the center of their relationship and rarely just have a moment of peace. What makes the difference? Some people know how to work things out, while others just don’t know when to walk away. Here’s how you can know when it’s time to walk away:

The issue is never addressed

Some couples never actually fix an issue. They get into an argument. They go to their separate corners and later crawl into bed, or message each other if you don’t live together and say, “I love you” and that’s it. It’s cute, for a moment. But they don’t actually plainly state, “Here is what we are going to do to avoid this issue in the future.” This is a sign of major communication problems. It is delusional to think that time makes a problem go away. Solving the problem makes it go away. If your partner is incapable of tackling an issue, you may have to leave that one. Because as life goes on, issues only get bigger and separate corners won’t be an option.

He never takes blame

It is unbearable to be with someone who is incapable of even seeing that maybe they could be wrong sometimes. It is actually disrespectful to you because they are choosing their own pride over your feelings. Even though they may sometimes know they’ve done something wrong, they would rather let you feel like you are over-reacting or that you are the one in the wrong, than ever swallow their pride and take responsibility. A life with this person is a life of inequality.

He leaves you

Some men know just how to punish a woman and that is by leaving. Some men leave as soon as you bring something up. This type of man makes you feel that you can never bring up anything—you can never share with him when you are upset because you are chastised by being left alone. This is extremely selfish and once again, the man is okay with knowing you are tortured being left alone, so long as he doesn’t have to talk about issues.

You agree to disagree on something big

Some couples are in denial about the fact that a dynamic exists that will inexorably either break them up if not cause regular arguments. There are some issues that you can’t just agree to disagree on. You need to either debate it out until you both agree on it, end it.  Otherwise you will be fighting forever.

He’s not affected

If you and your man get into a huge fight, it affects you. You struggle to focus on work. You are in your own head when around your friends, otherwise the only thing you can talk about with them is your fight with your man. If your man seems completely unaffected by your fight—if he is partying with his friends as usual, walking around with his head held high and acting like he doesn’t have a care in the world—then your relationship is not that significant to him. He should feel it when there is tension. You’re not just an annex to his life. You’re not an acquaintance. You’re his girlfriend/fiancé/wife

He’s hurtful on purpose

Never, ever should a relationship be a competition. If your partner has a criticism for you, he should bring it up because it affects him and the relationship negatively—because he wants the relationship to run smoother. But if your man brings things up just to hurt you, that’s a sick kind of love. If you love someone, you should try to work out bumps in a way that is most pleasant for everyone. Never should your partner take joy in seeing you in pain