You're not fat!!
If he loves you, he doesn't want to hurt your feelings, and weight is a touchy topic, so even though he may be thinking you've put on a couple pounds, he's going to spare your feelings and his health lol and just tell a little lie. Body issues are common in both men and women, and no one wants to be told they’re fat, balding, droopy or saggy. But trust me, if you have mirrors or a scale in your house, you don’t need to be told if you’ve gained a few pounds, so don’t ask him if you look fat. Just let him grab onto those love handles or hit the gym.
You’re a Great Cook
If you can’t boil an egg, don’t subject your man to your cooking and make him lie about how great dinner was. If your steak is tough as leather or your cookies are burnt to a crisp – toss it and eat out. He may choke your food down to make you happy, but at the end of the day, you know it’s so terrible that you wouldn’t even feed it to your dog. Take cooking classes or ask his mother for the family recipe and put this man out of his misery.
I Didn’t Get Your Text
Man, yes you did, you were just out with Shawn and they and didn’t want to be disturbed. But men think you’ll freak out if he actually tells you that he wants to spend time AWAY from you, so he conveniently blames his wack service or his bootleg phone for his not getting back to you and telling you where he was for the past hour or two hours. I mean, he could also be with his side chick, but for the purposes of this article, we’ll just give him the benefit of the doubt that he simply wanted some “guy” or “me” time.
I Have to Work Late
Along the same lines of not wanting to be found, it’s easier for him to tell you in advance when he’ll be unreachable so that he doesn’t have to explain his whereabouts later. Chances are, he knows you won’t disturb him at work, so he has a few hours to play uninterrupted. Again, he could be up to no good, but he could also simply want to hit the bar with his boys, or unwind before going home.
I’ll Call You
Now, if you’ve just met, or were a one night stand, he may tell you he’ll call you just to be polite. Most times when a man says he’ll call, he means he MIGHT call. No man, unless he’s a complete jerk off, will blatantly chuck up the deuces and state that he WON’T call you, it’s just a phrase men use in a parting situation that doesn’t make him seem like a jerk. If a man you’ve just met says this, don’t wait by the phone. If he DOES call, great. If not, keep it moving honey.
It’s Not You, It’s me
Another time a man doesn’t want to come off as a jerk is during a breakup. No one wants to be the bad guy when breaking up with someone, men and women alike, so he’ll say this to keep your feelings. He’ll say, “You deserve better” or “I’m simply not ready for a great woman like you,” or "you should experience things before you settle", when really he wants to say" “You’re a psycho, leave me alone!” If a guy uses this line on you, don’t cry and move on. He’s giving you an out with some dignity. Take it.
I Wasn’t Looking at Her…
The funny thing about a man denying that he was looking at a woman’s breasts, bum or any other body part is that usually, his woman saw her coming a mile away LONG before he did. It’s pointless to try to convince your lady that you didn’t see the chick with the donkey booty or CoCo implants, because most men don’t even realize they’re doing it until they turn around to see their girlfriend or wife giving them the side eye. We know men are visual, we know you’re going to look – just try not to break your neck doing it while we’re on your arm. That’s just rude.
I Love You (Too)
This lie is usually told as a last resort to get himself out of some sort of trouble – or if he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings if you’ve professed your love first. Sometimes men also blurt this out in the heat of passion and then can’t take it back because he wants the sex to keep coming. If he doesn’t want to lose you and the sex is off the chain, sometimes a man will say he loves you so that you’ll stick around…even if he doesn’t quite mean it yet. This isn't to say that he doesn't love you or wont love you, just look at his actions to make sure they match his words.
You’re the Best Sex I’ve Ever Had
We all want to believe that no woman, besides us, has ever turned her man out. But that stripper he had a one night stand with just might have had a few more tricks up her sleeve than you do,but he’s not in love with her, he loves you – so he’ll tell you that no one has ever put it on him like you do. Most likely, the woman (or man) that we end up with is rarely the best sex we ever had, unless he was a virgin before he met you in which case you can believe that story and make sure it stays that way!
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