Loving and Accepting Me

Loving and Accepting Me.

To be honest I don’t think I knew what this really meant until recently. I’ve heard it many times before and I really thought I did and I really did think I was living by this, but I wasn’t. I came to this conclusion  when I realized that people I held close to my heart were saying things to and about me that were not true, either with the intention to bring my esteem down (knowingly or unknowingly) or to give me a reputation that did not represent who I was.  Anyway, I kept these people in my life and I began to believe everything that they said about me, and that made me depressed and unhappy with everything about myself; my body, my hair, my skin, complexion, attitude, intelligence, personality, and the list goes on and on . I started to believe that I deserved the negative that came my way, I began to hate myself. I was angry at people I shouldn’t have been angry with; I was distant with the World. I was in my World and I had very few people I felt that I could turn to, and the ones I did turn to told me I was beautiful and intelligent and tried to get me back to where I was and was supposed to be, but to be honest, this did little at the moment.

Anyway, one night I realized that I did not deserve it, I was better than that, and nothing I did could be justified for the way people spoke to me or spoke about me. This realization didn’t come randomly, I had been thinking about it for a while, and I was watching a movie and although the situation wasn’t exactly like mine, it made me think, and I did research and I confirmed my thoughts. Abuse, by any means, whether emotional or physical and so on is never ok and you don’t deserve it. No matter what anyone says, or tries to make you believe, “You are beautiful.” Please remember that you are also human and at times you will fall short, but remember when you fall, the people that pick you up, that keep you down, and the ones that picks you up and put you back down.

I began to love myself, and the moment that I realized I was loved, appreciated, blessed, beautiful and so much more, I felt lighter, I felt like I was out of that slum and I was not about to return. You see, I believe that sometimes we love so hard that we lose ourselves, and we love so much that we are willing to be ridiculed, degraded, embarrassed, unappreciated and all that bad stuff. Sometimes it becomes more important for us to hold onto somebody rather than hold onto ourselves. We tell ourselves that it would be worth it, but really...It's not.  So if you find yourself here, STOP, CHECK YOURSELF, RE-EVALUATE  OR SOMETHING! Talk to someone about it, let them knock some damn  sense into your ass. An outside opinion is always great to hear because it's unbiased. 

Have a great day folks :)